How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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