I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I have feelings that need drinking.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
