how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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