So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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