I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
