If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
