Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
