i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
