Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
