so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
