My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
wow bdsm is so cute
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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