I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
