Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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