I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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