The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
