Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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