Four minutes until I can fart!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
