He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
