Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
