No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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