worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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