Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
