do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
