He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
