is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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