She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
