I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
