In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Randomize
