There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
