i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
