her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Someone signed my nipple.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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