I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Dicks are not precious.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
