That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
