You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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