im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
