Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
