I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
