all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
