This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
