he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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