Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
