Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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