i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
