We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
