im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
