i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
