i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
