You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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