i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
