i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
