I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he was CRYING into my vagina
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
