Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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